Interview with psychologist Elena Kossak about the psychology of war/Collage 24 channel< p _ngcontent-sc84="" class="news-annotation">Ukraine is in a state of war, every day we see a lot of emotions: anger, joy, despair. Psychologist Elena Kossak explained what the psychology of war is and how to take care of mental health so as not to waste resources.
- 1About the psychology of war and emotions
- 2How to control the emotions of parents and children
- 3About information hygiene
- 4Is it worth fighting hatred
- 5How to help yourself survive grief
Undoubtedly, our main anti-stress now is the victory of the Armed Forces of Ukraine, humor on this topic and hugs with relatives. However, we may experience difficulty in planning for the future, experience feelings of inadequacy or lack of emotion.
As part of the Interview 24 project, in an exclusive conversation with a psychologist and Elena Kossak, we discussed these points and came to the conclusion that emotions are normal, people should live them, and also eat well and go to bed so as not to completely lose the resource. And also, according to the expert, “life moves forward, and every day that we stood, brings our victory closer.”
Help.Elena Kossak – business coach, specialist in intangible asset management, psychology in the direction of trauma therapy, psychoanalysis. She publishes a lot of useful content for survival during the war on the telegram channel of the La Telepate center.
Interview with psychologist Elena Kossak
About the psychology of war and emotions
What is the psychology of war, in your opinion? Many Ukrainians were shocked at first, and later the basic emotions returned: despair, denial, and the like. How to protect yourself from severe stress during martial law?
Each war is different and not like the previous ones. Our war has been going on for the 8th year already, and therefore, for the most part, we were mentally prepared for it – we envisaged the possibility of a full-scale invasion. And the thing you're suggesting is less shocking than total surprise. However, this does not mean that war does not cause us great stress or trauma.
However, it is our readiness that can explain the fact that we managed to unite so quickly and scale volunteering to a new level – in fact, every Ukrainian has now become a volunteer to one degree or another and is doing something to win. By the way, volunteering and social activity in general are now one of the key aspects of processing the trauma of war in our psyche, and therefore in our recovery.
Man is a creature accustomed to everything. However, I would rather use the term “adapt”. At the present time, having moved away from the initial shock and experiencing an acute reaction to stress, we adapt to new realities and continue to live on.
It is impossible to protect yourself from severe stress, because every day new events occur , to which we react sharply, and so it will be until the end of the war. Instead, you can try to respond to this stress by living it at the level of the body and thus getting rid of it.
The first point of dealing with stress covers body work and body care. Drink enough water, eat on a schedule, go to bed on time (as far as possible), get massages, engage in light physical activity, walk, warm yourself in a state of “numbness” after a traumatic event (feeling cold, as if I can’t warm up, feeling cold, desire to curl up, etc.) with the help of additional clothes, a blanket or hot water treatments.
The second point is working with memory – keeping a “war diary”, recording, observing yourself and your reactions, focusing on living every day of your life as efficiently as possible. After all, our plans for the future have collapsed, and this makes us feel insecure, we lack control over a part of life. And it should definitely be provided to yourself by monitoring the quality of life of today.
Third pointis building enough social connections already mentioned above so that we do not experience a lack of communication and do not have the opportunity to get stuck in our homes for a long time.
Is it appropriate rejoice now? Celebrate?
It is always appropriate to rejoice and celebrate, because this is what gives us a resource and helps us survive. Another question is how others will perceive our joy. Therefore, probably, you should not advertise it too much or rejoice too loudly so as not to hurt other people's feelings, which at this moment can depict sadness, grief, despair … Private moments of joy must be, as well as moments of personal communication and minutes spent together with the closest, beloved people.
Elena Kossak/Photo from psychologist's Facebook
How to control the emotions of parents and children
Now many Ukrainians have lost their jobs. Children do not attend gardens. What should parents do in order not to break down? How to control emotions?
Organize leisure activities for your children. Parents also need a resource in order to survive in this war, and also to volunteer, earn extra money and support others. Therefore, children, as the joy of the family, can spend time with grandparents at a time when parents devote an hour or two a day to their personal relationship.
How to lead to parents whose children draw or play war?
If a child draws a war and “plays war” – that's good, because in this way he also copes with new information and circumstances, processes them.
It is important that the child is not intimidated, you should not shift your feelings onto him, you should control the content he consumes.
Also, the child needs to be explained that we are now superheroes who survive in unusual circumstances and from this they become stronger.
About information hygiene
How to take care of mental health every day?
Keep informational hygiene. After all, one of the types of stress, along with physical and psychological, is informational stress – corny from information overload. -content will help save energy and put them in a more productive direction.
Attend psychosocial support groups, such as the ones I lead with colleagues in the Ukraine Needs You project. Find “your” psychologist who will be available and will be able to support you in difficult times.
With the support of the Ukraine Needs You Foundation (USA), a psychological assistance project was launched in Ukraine, within the framework of which one and a half hour webinars on a variety of psychological topics are continuously held on the Zoom platform from 11:00 to 17:00. After listening to the webinar and getting to know a specialist, you can sign up for a personal consultation. Now the project involves about 20 specialists – psychologists, neuropsychologists and psychiatrists. Participation for Ukrainians is free. You can find out the schedule of classes, get acquainted with the experts in the telegram channel here.
How long should I read the news so as not to get depressed? p>
It is easier to perceive the news that we did not read, but heard from someone. A person passes the news through himself, and we perceive it easier. We offer our clients to exchange the roles of notifier/newsreader in such a way that everyone reads the original source no more than twice a day. So information is perceived much easier for the psyche.
Three things that will help save the psyche during the war?
< p dir="ltr">Physical activity, sleep, social communication.
Is it worth fighting hatred
Let's talk about hate. This is the strongest emotion that Ukrainians are now experiencing. Is it worth it to fight?
Emotions do not have a division into “good” and “bad” – they are divided into those that give us a resource and those that take it away. If hatred now gives me a resource, I will feel it and, against this background, help our Armed Forces even more productively. If, however, I lose strength and become weaker from it, I urgently need to vent it (cry, scream, knock it out), moving into a calmer channel of my own feelings.
Emotions should not be fought, but lived. How? Reacting with the body, movements, thoughts, words, etc. We have the right to any reactions, they can be considered normal to abnormal circumstances.
If you are worried about your own aggression, irritability, anger – come to us, and we will help you respond in such a way as not to “break loose” on the nearest, which, as a rule, fall under the “hot hand”.
Elena Kossak/Photo from psychologist's Facebook
How to help yourself survive grief
Unfortunately, many Ukrainians have faced loss. Give advice on how to experience grief.
There is such a phenomenon in psychology as “mourning”. This process must be, it is essential for a person to be able to survive the loss, let it go and extend his life further. In no case should you devalue grief and not tell others how they “better” to grieve. Who cries a lot, and who does not at all. Someone is sad, and someone is trying to smile. This does not mean that someone is doing something wrong – all reactions are correct from the point of view of the person living the grief.
Sometimes with a person you just need to silently be around – and this will already be the best support and life of life's losses …
Whatever it is, life moves forward, and every day that we stood, brought our victory closer . It will certainly happen to us, because we, Ukrainians, are the strongest nation on the planet at this time (or maybe just the strongest nation on the planet in all ages). Let the performance of our folk songs, our Anthem, the reading of historical books help us. Glory to Ukraine! Glory to the Heroes!
How to survive grief: watch Elena Kossak's video
“Interview 24” is a project on the Channel 24 website about the most important topics. Conversations that change the country for the better. The author of the project is Anastasia Zazulyak, Deputy Editor-in-Chief of the site.
